My Healing Journey

My first experience with reiki was decades ago.  I had severe laryngitis that lasted about 4 months, and ENTs (Ear Nose Throat specialists) couldn't figure out why.  At a friend's suggestion, I tried reiki.  After only one session, the laryngitis was gone.  Not that it’s required, but I didn’t even think about doing more sessions or getting trained.  I was just delighted by the results and moved on with my life!

 

Several years later, I had severe, prolonged pain from whiplash injuries related to an auto accident.  I'm usually very optimistic, grounded, resilient & resourceful, but navigating that experience was beyond my coping skills.  After six months, another friend reminded me about reiki.  This time, with only one reiki session, I was restored to my emotional center.  It didn’t heal the physical issues, but being recentered enabled me to deal with the pain and begin to move forward again. 

 

Returning to reiki happened not long after I’d moved into that apartment with my kitties.  As I mentioned, it was stressful for all of us, but they were impacted even more than I was.  I asked the practitioner if I could bring them in for a session, and she agreed.  Like me, they both responded incredibly well to their first sessions, but needed a few follow-ups to stay centered.

 

It wasn’t long before I decided to learn reiki.  At first, it was only for myself, my kitties, our home, and my loved ones.  I did daily sessions on my kitties and our new home.  I also did daily treatments on my neck for pain (little did I know that reiki was working to heal my thyroid too!

 

To learn more about the specifics about my thyroid

healing, please click here.

 

Then, nearly a decade into my practice – a plot twist.  Significant smoke exposure from a wildfire triggered an autoimmune issue that causes inflammation in nearly every organ and system of the body.  So far, there’s a differential diagnosis is Mast Cell Activation Syndrome (MCAS).  If you haven’t needed to speak doctor, that means there’s no ‘official’ diagnosis via bloodwork or biopsy results, but my symptoms all point in that direction, and I’m responding to MCAS-related therapies.

 

Reiki has been a wonderful and powerful resource for reducing the illness’ pain, inflammation, and other symptoms, as well as managing the side effects from certain medications.  It also helps me to stay emotionally centered (or brings me back to my center on the rougher symptom days).  

 

Having experienced a miraculous healing with my thyroid, and having witnessed many other 'impossible' things happen for myself and for others... I trust that this illness can be fully healed.  I don't know when, where, how, or any other details - only that it’s possible. 

 

That said, I’m also aware that something being possible doesn’t necessarily mean it will happen. I don’t say that in a pessimistic way, so much as to honor that sometimes, things don’t go how we want or expect. 

 

There are many ways to respond when things don’t seem to heal, change, or manifest.  For me, I do my best to be neutral – to honor whatever I’m experiencing, while also holding space that the experience doesn’t define or limit me or what can be possible for me.  I don’t say that with ‘toxic positivity’, which is ignoring or fearing whatever you don’t like or want to deal with.  I believe it’s more about practicing (or learning, or mastering) compassion, acceptance, surrender, hope, and trust.

 

Since those words can have many different meanings for different people, I’d like to try and explain what they mean to me – not to tell others what to think or believe, but to create a common understanding:

 

Compassion is doing my best to love all parts of myself, even on days where I’m a white-hot mess (physically, mentally, &/or emotionally).  And if it’s emotional, that involves acknowledging that the upset isn’t coming out of nowhere; it’s coming as a reaction to something difficult.

 

Acceptance is about allowing myself to see and work with what is actually happening and how I’m actually feeling, not how I want things to be happening or how want to be feeling.  Yet, having compassion for the part(s) of me that really wanted things to be different than whatever they are in that particular moment. 

 

Surrender is about recognizing that while I have lots of influence over my health, mental wellbeing, and circumstances, this doesn’t always equate to having full control.  

 

Hope is mostly about reminding myself that whatever is (or isn’t) happening doesn’t necessarily have to define or limit me and what can be possible – unless I allow it to do so.  It’s also about holding space that no matter how long something seems to stay the same, healing, growth, and change can happen at any moment.

 

Trust is knowing that I’m deeply loved and supported (by Spirit, The Universe, God, or any other concepts for a Higher Power – if/as you believe), whether I fully heal or not.  It’s also about trusting in myself to be able to learn and do whatever may be needed, even if I don’t always have an answer or a ‘next step’ when I want or expect it to come.  And about trusting in others’ capacity to love and value me even after my role in our relationships has dramatically changed.

 

In a weird way, these perspectives and practices create a lot of peace and balance in the midst of chaos.  Being able to identify the difference between what’s happening, versus how I think and feel about what’s happening, allows me to recognize and release the judgments, limiting beliefs, and the inaccurate ‘meanings’ that I sometimes create. 

 

As an example of inaccurate meaning

On rough symptom days, I sometimes tell myself that the illness lasting for so many years ‘means’ that I’ll never fully heal.  It’s taking a present circumstance and projecting it into the future, based upon how things have gone so far.  Yet, all it really means is that the illness has been around much longer than I wanted or expected – and that in this moment, I’m upset about that, which leads to the projection and judgment.

 

On the flip side, if I’ve had a series of good days, I sometimes catch myself thinking that it means that the illness is ‘finally’ stabilizing!  That’s not wrong or bad to think that, but getting attached to the idea that the improvement is long-term can trigger upset if/when periods of flaring return. 

 

Letting go of both the good and the bad as meaning anything allows me to thread the needle to be at peace whether I’m flaring or not.

 

To be clear…  You’ve probably guessed, but I’m not perfect at any of this.  I can still get triggered into upset from time to time, including occasional melt downs!  Even so, the upsets are usually much less frequent and intense, and I’m generally able to console and support myself when they happen.  I no longer view these experiences as being in my way, but as part of my way.  They help me to see exactly where I have more learning, healing, and growing to do as I continue moving forward.

 

These and other life experiences have helped me to have an even deeper understanding of the complexity and nuance involved in navigating any long-term issue, whether it’s related to illnesses, injuries, or challenges – including the challenges of attaining long-term goals (or short-term goals that are taking much longer than expected to be achieved).

 

I don't presume that my perspectives, experiences, and resources may be useful to everyone, but they're at your disposal.  In case you skipped the home page, that support can include helping you to find more balanced and effective ways to ...

 

● Find and stay within the peaceful eye of a challenge’s ‘hurricane’

 

● Question automatic (reflexive) judgments, limiting beliefs, and

   other patterns of perception and response that may be keeping

   you stuck 

 

● Release thoughts, feelings, others, and circumstances as defining

   or limiting you, others, circumstances; and what can be possible

   for everyone

 

● Fully experience and work with upsetting thoughts and feelings in

   ways that support balance, wholeness, and health

 

● Recover more quickly from repeated reversals, disappointments,

   and life’s many plot twists

 

● Learn, improve, or master practices such as self-love, self care,

   healthy boundaries, acceptance, surrender, trust, and more (while

   still doing everything possible to overcome a situation)

 

Or, not.  People come for all kinds of reasons, not just for challenges.  You're welcome for any form of support!


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